coming out of retirement

I must admit that although I am terrible at keeping a blog I am so inspired by the everyday advances of my children and changes in my life that I feel I must try, just try, to keep track of them all. We all fear (not the right word, but you know what I mean) that we will become like our mothers. We want to be our own individuals, not someone that already exists, n'est pas? Yet I find that when I ask my mom what it was like when I was a wee little one her response is usually "I don't remember." Now, she either doesn't want to tell me something or she really doesn't remember. I already am trying to remember 3 and a half years since Vivi was born what it was like when she was a baby. Heck I'm trying to remember 21 months after Bebe was born what it was like when she was a baby. So I know that in this case I will be like my mother and when my daughters ask me, "what was it like when I was little...hopefully I can say, "hummm, let's see..."

So I tried to start a blog when Beatrice was born because I felt I just didn't have it in me to keep a journal and since I do emails almost everyday then maybe I could just jot down a few things. I did okay for a couple of months then nothing. Not that I didn't have anything to say I just was so tired and uninspired....let's face it, I was pooped. Not that anything has changed much but I think I have a handle on functioning a little better in a sleep deprived state. It's kind of like living at a high altitude. You get used to it and can actually breathe well in the thiner air. So hopefully this time I won't pass out from exhaustion. And equally, can make sense to my girls when they try to decode this in years beyond.

Vivienne is a pretty normal almost 4 year old. She wants to do lots of things and sometimes seems fairly grown up for a little person. Then she makes a mistake and you have to remind yourself that she is not even 4. I find that is a good mantra to have with a toddler. (not even 4, not even 4...)Then you won't set yourself up for a downfall. Anyway I think we finally have a grip on the potty training. V only occasionally gets distracted (once every couple of weeks) and has an accident. She gets so excited when she gets it right though. Christmas was all about come see my poopee....look how big....this one is the biggest ever. How we do love to celebrate in this house.

No one likes to change clothes more than Vivienne. It's maddening. We finally put a lock on her closet so that she wouldn't be able to change 20 or so times a day. Now if we could just get her clothes into the closet to begin with.

Beatrice is a very funny 2 year old. She will not be hard to potty train because she talks about using the potty all the time. She had my mom so convinced one day that she had to use the potty that she got her clothes off about 3 times in the hour I was away from the house. Once she figures it out there will be no accidents.

She has no fuss approach to things. She hurts herself and a little kiss sends her right back into harm's way. She has not learned the value of pain and will do something over and over. Will says she will be the goalie if she plays hockey. She walks around taking her clothes off and yelling "ta-da"!! It's a bit alarming but I think she may tire of this by the time she makes it to school. It is funny so you can't get too upset about it.


She likes to throw a good tantrum but it is too funny to take seriously. Unlike Viv who makes me think she has mortally wounded herself when she doesn't get her way, Bebe dramatically throws herself on the floor and in cartoon fashion pounds with her fists and kicks her feet. And she is the best at becoming a noodle if she doesn't want to do something. I mean just like water she puddles every time you try to move her. It's amazing.

And just so I don't forget....she is quick. If she gets caught doing something she knows is bad she recovers beautifully. One day I caught her on a chair in the kitchen digging into the butter and licking her fingers. She knows this is unacceptable. Just when I'm about to blow up because I see the mess she jumps back and says, "toast, pease" (this is at about 18 months) I say, "oh, you'd like toast" She nods and earnestly says "with butter" I think she has moved past her butter phase but I don't let her know where I keep my chocolate.

Phoebe is a calm anchor. A sweet little angel baby. It is almost as if God said "I need to throw her an easy one this time. Don't want her to strike out every time and get discouraged." I just see her smile and it makes me smile. Not that I don't smile at all my girls and LOVE their smiles but this one smiles all the time. If she is crying you know she's hungry or sleepy or needs a new diaper. As soon as she get what she needs, it's all smiles. Just like flipping a switch. And she is careful to watch her big sisters. She will do everything the first time because she will have already figured it all out. She is already pushing up and trying to get to crawl position. And she already is trying to get places. I left her one day in the office on the floor (behind a gate so that she wouldn't get pounced) playing and then I hear her screaming crying. Alarmed I ran and couldn't see her. The room is 8x11 so she couldn't go far. Turns out she had gotten under the bed and just wanted to be pulled out please. She was all smiles once I picked her up. Who knew at 3 months you could travel several feet to get under a bed in just a matter of minutes? I don't leave her on the floor too much anymore.